"What Can I Bring?" Successful Dinner Party Part I

Okay, as it seems I have the floor, I am going to expound upon my least favorite dinner party question..."What can I bring?"

Where did this come from? I was raised to bring a hostess gift when invited to someone's home, but unless the occasion was expressly labeled a potluck, I do not remember my mother ever bringing a dish to someone's home or vice versa.

Thus I felt ill prepared about a decade ago when I fell in with a crowd where this was the norm. I found it so strange and disturbing. There were several occasions where I showed up at an event with a hostess gift and everyone else had brought a dish...but it was not a potluck. weird. I also didn't know how to respond when I extended an invitation, planned a meal and everyone wanted to bring something. What the hell was going on here? It was like bizarro superman world. It took me a long time to become acclimmated and still it sticks in my craw (obviously).

As a guest, you should assume that the host(ess) who extended the invitation has the means and the inclination to serve you an entire meal. If you as the guest must ask this question and the answer is some form of "I think I'm all set" THEN YOU SHOULD RESPECT THAT. Bring a pretty dishtowel, bottle of wine, pound of coffee, box of tea, bottle of liquor, candle, flowers or some other suitable hostess gift.

I'd bet my boiling water canner that if you look this topic up in an etiquette book, it would back me up.

There are women (and I know quite a few) who are incapable of coming to your house without bringing a dish (or several). You have to let them fly their freak flag and be done with it.

Now, I have to admit, I have been infected with the virus. It is hard for me to come to someone's house and not bring a dish. I satisfy my need to bring something by bringing something I've canned. I'm still bringing food and yet not intruding on the hostess' turf. If you make candy, cookies, etc. and can package them prettily, then this is a good way to wean you off the crack of having to bring something to someone's else's thoughtfully planned dinner party (or brunch or lunch or whatever).

ALL of that said, your primary job as the hostess is to put your guests at ease and do what you can to ensure that everyone has a good time and feels welcome.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow...

You asked for it...

And I will do my best to provide.

WasSoggy wanted Halloween party pics...check

She also wanted to know the difference between jam, jelly, and preserves. The following definitions are from the Ball Blue Book Guide to Preserving. (I'm paraphrasing).

Jam - cooking crushed or chopped fruit with sugar until the mixture will round up on a spoon. Made from one or more fruits; firm but spreadable.

Jelly - Made from juice strained from fruit. Gelatinized to hold it's shape, yet soft enough to spread easily.

Preserves - Fruit preserved in sugar so it is transparent, shiny, tender and plump. Thickness of soft jelly.

Butter - fruit butter is made by cooking fruit pulp and sugar to a thick consistency that will spread easily. Spices may be added.

Noelle is looking for a Thanksgiving dessert. Me too. I make something different every year and though I've ordered my turkey, the serious meal planning will occur on Monday of next week. Stay tuned.

Tatum wants to know what to do with beets. I really only like beets juiced with carrots, so I'm the wrong person to ask. BUT, god bless him, burning pasta has a beet and blue cheese terrine you might want to check out.

Two more questions require longer answers...perhaps tomorrow I'll answer Katy's question about hosting a dinner party and Marissa's (offline!) question about the ten things I can't live without in my kitchen. Good luck shutting me up!

A few Apple Butter Notes

Regular readers of this blog know that I make apple butter in my crock pot.

This joint is getting ready to shut down for the season, so I got a ton of apples at a monster cheap price there on Sunday. As I've mentioned before, it's a rather pastoral fifteen minute drive from my home, so I go there over the Spring-Fall-Summer months for fresh produce.

Anyhoo, I made the last batch for the year yesterday. I've fine tuned the process to put them through the food mill not once but twice, which makes the texture smoother and less applesauce-like. This round I also omitted any lemon, threw in a cinnamon stick and again relied on the dark brown sugar.

I'm pretty sure the key though is the second run through the food mill. If you have a chinois, that would do the trick too.

mmmm...apple butter.

Ten Random Things About Me

1) I am a fourth generation Seattle native (over 100 years!) who has always fantasized about living in NYC.

2) I cannot jump into water. at all.

3) I am an excellent parallel parker. There should be a competition somewhere. I would wipe the floor...

4) I have always wanted to be a librarian.

5) My top five favorite foods are:

• popcorn
• crab cakes
• steak salad
• fresh raspberries
• chips and salsa (the #5 spot shifts occasionally)

6) I am often mistaken for an extrovert when what I am is an introvert who cannot handle uncomfortable silences.

7) I plan to learn knitting and photography in 2010

8) reading is my favorite Friday night activity

9) I really, really want to guest star on Mad Men as Joan's best friend, Roger's secretary, or a woman Don is having an affair with.

10) I've decided my personal logo is going to be an owl. I feel a kind of kinship with them.

Halloween in Pictures

I've had a hard time putting the party into words, so here are some photos of the day with commentary.

My sister and her family on "laundry day"! Awesome effort.

Our little trick or treaters...three sets of brothers. Pretty precious to watch. Treat bags. I made treat bags for the kids with small toys in them and then my mom and I made treat bags consisting only of popcorn balls for the adults. Next time, I would only make the popcorn ball treat bags for all guests.

This is the pinata queue. That pinata was the star of the party. That's also a punching bag disguised as a ghost in the background. Did I mention we have boys?

The pinata had a day of the dead quality that I LOVED. Don't go takin the spook outta the day, now! No harvest party here, my friends. Ghouls and goblins abound.

Yes, I ordered four dozen fresh cake donuts. Um, we had leftovers...but cake donuts and cider is a Halloween family tradition!

I love this guy. Mea culpa for the late Halloween post. (That's my orange dining room in the background. Actually, it's called buttered yam.)

Luke Skywalker, aka Tank. Handsome devil, ain't he?!

As with all testosterone driven parties, it eventually devolves into football. For those as girlie as me, this particular activity is known as "flyers up".

Han and Leia (yes, that's me.) Later in the party I had a hard cider in one hand and a chick sized blaster in the other. I am embracing my mother of boysness.

The food. I didn't take very good photos but there were "mummy dogs" and "monster meatballs" and "devilish dumplings" as well as a pumpkin shaped cheese ball among the offerings. I also worked my mother like a dog for about 24 hours and she decorated all the cupcakes. One of the big hits was caramel dip and sliced apples with skewers. A little sprinkle of sea salt made it heaven. I love every opportunity to use my Little Dipper tiny crock pot.

One of my favorite costumes. I think it caused a stir among some of our more conservative partygoers. I love something controversial to get things going! Yay, Dave!

Ben Franklin and Betsy Ross (my parents). They should look exhausted here from all the work we made them do in party prep as well as escorting their grandsons to soccer that morning! What great sports and cool costumes (that my mom made!) My family rocks.

Ever see The Natural? They did. ;)

My little Anakin Skywalker. We got used to the creepy mask.

I think a good time was had by all. Maybe we'll do it again next year!