Time

Time. Time. Time.

This morning got off to an uncharacteristically speedy start.  Meaning I actually showered before BC left for work AND I had the whole kitchen cleaned up by the time I got the boys to school (on time I might add).

I used to be up showered dressed out the door and on my way to work by 6:30.  How did I do that?  I still have my slippers on and it's going on eleven.

My Big Birthday has me pondering time from many angles.  How much time has passed and how much is left.  How have I spent my time and how will I spend it.  Do I make the most of each day?  I am miserly with my time.  I never feel like I have enough to do everything I need/want/should do.  I am even more miserly with my husband's time.  I haven't had enough.  It's never enough.  Will our lifetime be enough?  I feel the push and pull of time in the boys' growing up.  My baby is growing up. He needs me less and less.  My big boy looks like an adult occasionally.  He uses words like seldom and languish in everyday conversation.

Big Red goes to preschool three mornings a week for 2.5 hours.  When you factor in travel time to and fro it's really two hours.  Three times a week.  Six hours.  Six hours when no one is talking to me or expects anything from me.  This is slightly longer than the amount of time I had in lunch hours each week when I worked. 

Ponder that.

During this time I should be going to any appointments I need, cleaning my house, running errands, etc. etc. etc so that my time with the boys is spent in a quality fashion. It's not enough. Time.

I have a hard time juggling...time.

Right now for instance, I am spacing out, surfing the web and writing this post.  Things I should be doing (in no particular order):

LAUNDRY!!
going to the gym
Dusting...everything in my dusty dusty house
vacuuming
sweeping/mopping
ordering photo prints for my quilt scrapbook
scrubbing a shower
machine quilting a charity quilt
planning dinner...for the next three nights
finishing a grocery list
writing the Herbfarm blog post and prepping the pictures
planting seeds in starter pots in my kitchen window
calling two friends
figuring out where I will take Tank for an eye exam
scheduling photography classes
running credit reports for all four of us (you really should do this once a year)
making moss killer with vinegar
learning more about letterpresses and figuring out when I can embark on that
planning my etsy store more seriously (handmade jeny)

I'm sure there are more but sometimes during my stolen preschool time I can't do anything.  I need to just savor the silence of my house.  I have to leave to pick him up in 15 minutes and I haven't done...enough.

Guess I'd better get going.

I'm out of...time.